A More Old-Fashioned Life: Quality Family Time

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In my introduction post to this series, How to Live a More Old-Fashioned Life, I explained the heart of the matter. We need to find more balance in our lives. Doing so means pulling back from the internet a bit and learning to live a more old-fashioned life. So to continue on from there, in this post I am sharing specific ideas on how to integrate old-fashioned family time into your life. These ideas can be done as a family without the influence of the internet and with less technology involved.

As I write this post, I realize I could approach this topic from many different directions.

I could certainly go into why old-fashioned family time is important. But I bet, since you are reading this, you already know; the cultural shift away from family life has had negative consequences in our society. So it’s worth coming back to.

I could go into why lots of screen time is negative for child development.

But what I want to get into, is to ask you this: in all honestly, how many times a day does your child see you pick up your phone? How many times have you sat on the couch with your spouse, each tethered to a cell phone, in your own little worlds? Has someone ever tried to get your attention before but you were buried in your phone or on the computer or playing an internet game?

Internet Addiction is Destroying Quality Family Time

Internet & technology addiction that was initiated in just the last 15 years with the advent of the “smart phone”, has absolutely snowballed in the last 18 months. With work from home, zoom calls, web events & school at home (not homeschool, because there is a difference), the lines have become blurred. Home life has changed and family life with it. The balance between real life and our “internet lives” have fallen way out of wack. This has impacted many of us, even if we never thought it could or would. And unfortunately, I think it’s very easy to fall into using the internet more frequently than we should. It takes work to get out of this but I believe we need to go back to basics and reclaim quality family time. We need to make it a priority to get our lives back. If we are at home more any way, we need to put up boundaries with the internet.

So, I asked those questions above to get you thinking about your own life.

The internet, unless used intentionally, is a time drain and takes away from the tangible connection to others in our lives. You can literally lose hours upon hours of your life on the internet for no benefit.

Excuse my language, but a large part of me wants to throw the damn cell phone out the window when I think about it all. But then I remember the good it can do when used appropriately… even just the Maps feature makes it a worth while and helpful device.

Integrating more old-fashioned ways into your life is absolutely necessary to reclaiming balance.

Stop picking up the phone and start connecting more as an old-fashioned family.

You can find true happiness in that.

More Old-Fashioned Family Life Ideas

Pray together as a family

Praying together as family is one of the most important things you can do as a believer.

This can be simple; morning & evening prayers, along with grace before meals.

Or you can pray the rosary together or a chaplet. To do that just don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your family, especially if you have children that are really young. It’s hard for them to concentrate for longer periods of time. But it is still a great thing to do. I find doing the rosary in the car is nice because we are all together and it soothes my son to hear. And we can do half of the rosary on the way to the destination and the other half on the way home.

Read the Bible together aloud

Another very important thing to do as a family is to read the Bible together. It can be small excerpts. Read and then discuss what you read. You can look up the daily readings, follow a devotional format, or just pick a book of the Bible like the Book of Matthew or Acts. As your children grow up they will hear your discussions and eventually chime in, too. It also offers a time for the children to ask questions about the faith. You could plan to do this reading at bed time or even at the dinner table.

Get on the ground and play silly games with your children for more old-fashioned family time

Get down to your children’s level. Crawl around on the ground and play with them. Be silly. Make them laugh. Build blocks with them. Be imaginative!

Make forts out of old cardboard boxes

I remember one time when I was a kid, my dad made me a space ship out of a bunch of old cardboard boxes. It’s one of my most cherished childhood memories because it was something we did together. Don’t underestimate the small things done with love.

Create a family mission statement

This can be as simple or complex as suits your family. It doesn’t have to be written down but it can be.

Ask yourself and your spouse; who are we? What matters most to our family; the causes and values that we hold? How do we live out those ideas? And why do we want to?

It could be a specific passage of Scripture that resonates with your family’s core values. It could be a phrase or some key words or an entire paragraph. But this is important. These mission statements give your family a why and how to specifically live out your values.

In this crazy world, we need to be rooted as a family in something bigger than ourselves. It unifies your family for a common purpose. It gives your family a back bone, a mission to make this world a better place.

an example of how to make a mission statement

A family could model their mission statement off the Scripture, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” -Joshua 24:15. That means, as a family, we serve the Lord and no other. What God says we do, we do and what He says we abstain from, we abstain from. This one passage can guide many a family in times of confusion or trouble. Just ask, what does the Lord say we should do?

The passage also says, serve the Lord. You can then ask yourselves, how do we serve the Lord as a family? That answer would look like this: following His commandments and being His hands and feet in the world. That could then bring you to the Seven Works of Mercy as a guide; feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit the imprisoned & bury the dead. Maybe that means for your family, volunteering at a food pantry together.

And lastly, you then ask yourselves, why do we do this as a family? You get the idea.

Embrace family traditions that you grew up with

Think of the traditions you had growing up and continue the ones you loved. Find out what family traditions your spouse’s family did as well, and incorporate those into your family life. Embrace them and keep them going!

Start some old-fashioned family traditions and follow through with them

This gets into creating your own family culture. And these are so fun to do! It could something silly like instituting taco Tuesday every week. Or it could be more in depth; like how exactly your family celebrates Christmas.

Tell family stories often for more old-fashioned family time

Sit around the family dinner table or the fireplace and tell family stories of days gone by. Make a bowl of popcorn and re-call fun family memories you all enjoyed together. Tell good stories about family members who have passed on, so your children know more about them. Take out the family photo albums. Have dumb family jokes that make every one laugh, that only your family would understand.

Play board games and cards with your family instead of watching TV

This is especially great if your kids are older. Teach them how to play different card games and board games.

Cancel your streaming services and go to the library to pick out a movie

If you have a TV and still have a DVD player, use it for fun family movie nights. This is the only idea listed here that involves a screen, but here’s why I include it. Family movies can be fun and connecting. If the movies are truly good, wholesome movies, they are works of art. Talented actors, beautiful cinematography or skilled cartoon animation, gifted composers; these are all valid art forms. Plus, you are being intentional about using it, instead of just throwing something onto the TV after dinner and vegging out. Some movies can bring up quality conversations, too.

By changing it from just using a streaming service, you are also having the fun experience of going to the library to pick one out. It makes a bigger deal out of it, and makes it special.

Imagine your children not having thousands of movies at their fingertips; overwhelming them with such a vast amount. Instead, having your children interact with a curated selection that is much more geared toward quality and classics. It will still seem like a lot to them, but coupled with a sense of wonder and awe. They can pick the movies off the shelf and hold them.

Another plus is that a lot of old vinyl records are cheap and can found at thrift stores and garage sales. You can just pick one that looks interesting and try it out. See if you like it. If you don’t like it, you can just donate it back and you maybe lost $1 or so in the process.

New vinyl records can be pricey but worth it for those favorite albums from newer artists. Or for new re-issues of older artists albums that you just couldn’t find used.

We’ve forgotten that listening to music can be an experience all on its own, instead of just background noise while we wash the dishes or fold the laundry.

Frequently make special recipes your family loves

I don’t know about you, but I want my kids to have meals that they remember as adults. Healthy meals they ask for while growing up because they enjoy them. I want them to have those recipes that they take with them in their hearts when they establish their own homes and family’s.

Go on picnics together

You can go as simple as laying a blanket out in your backyard. Or you can pack up the car to drive to a beautiful park, beach or lake in your area.

Sing with your children for more old-fashioned family time

This is particularly great in the car; instead of giving kids screens to entertain them, sing with them. In between family stories, I remember singing in the car as a child with my grandparents. And we did a lot with my grandparents, not just once in a while get togethers. I don’t even remember them once putting on the radio.

We’d sing old classics, hymns, children’s songs & mother goose-type rhymes to pass the time. Sometimes my grandparents would sing together as a duet, oldies from their youth. So I grew up hearing a lot of 1930s & 1940s classics sung by them. Or they would sing old Irish ballads and folksongs from the mother country. I learned so much from this. I am greatly saddened to think if I were given a screen I would have missed all of that.

If anyone in your family is musically inclined, play instruments together and for each other

Unfortunately I wasn’t gifted instrumental skill, but if your family is skilled in any instruments, play together and for each other! Play guitar around the campfire. Play piano for your family after dinner like they are a small audience. Encourage your children to practice their instruments.

Write your family genealogy in a family tree journal

Write this out so that it isn’t lost or hard to find in the future.

Have family meetings

Have family meetings whenever important things need to be discussed. Of course, certain things would be decided on by the parents solely, but if you can get your children involved and let them have a voice in certain matters. If anything, it will let them feel heard, appreciated and give them the ability to ask questions. It keeps communication lines open.

Teach your children old-fashioned skills

Find age appropriate ways to get your children involved in old-fashioned skills or ways of doing things. For example, something as simple as asking your toddler to pass you the clothes pins as you put the laundry on the line. But also, over the long term, showing your children how to garden. Teach them how to care for animals and livestock. Be the example, and involve them in the tasks you’re doing.

Do an outdoor activity that is common in your local area (like fishing, hunting, skiing, camping, etc) for more old-fashioned family life

I say it like that because where we live and what are family’s have commonly done are different. Where I grew up, in Coastal New England; clamming, fishing & boating/sailing were all common activities that I grew up doing frequently. But for my husband, who grew up in rural PA, his family and region had a heritage of hunting and fishing. I remember once realizing that lobster meat for me, was like deer meat for my husband and his family; we each grew up on different things. So, teach your children what is common for your family history and local region.

Get in the habit of going for walks together

If you have a dog, use their walks as a reason to get out for a longer walk around the property or the block as a family. Otherwise, just try to start the habit of doing this a few times a week.

Do volunteer work together as a family

This builds the interpersonal relationships in the family unit, while also cultivating the virtue of charity in your children.

Do chores together for more old-fashioned family time

Doing chores together and teaching your children how to do these tasks is pretty important.

But keep in mind their age. A good example is that my toddler has been helping to pick up the walnuts that fall from our walnut tree in the yard. This is a task that does need to be done, so every time we go outside, we pick up a few and throw them into the bucket. He loves doing this with me. He only picks up one at a time, and maybe throws 4 total in the bucket. I pick up more like 20 of them. I cheer him on every time he puts one in the bucket though and in all actuality he is helping. It is a chore that needs to be done, but it doesn’t feel like one. We are having fun together! A big point though is to have reasonable expectations; like to do a task like that for 5 minutes with a toddler, then stop and let them go off and play.

If your kids are older, the task may be drying the dishes and putting them away after you wash them. Or helping fold the laundry with you. But you could be talking and laughing or singing the whole time. It doesn’t have to be boring. And as they get older, they will learn how to do these things on their own or with their siblings.

Do more in your own town for more old-fashioned family time

Try to localize your economy as much as you can. Of course some things will still be bought at big box stores or on the internet and delivered to your home. But try to get what you can from local businesses in your area instead. Go to the farmers market and the local grocery store. Use the hardware store in your town, instead of going to the huge ones. Get gifts from local artisan shops in your area.

Keep special saint cards & family funeral prayer cards in the family Bible. Also, write down records of family baptisms & other sacraments in it, too.

This keeps these items all in one place for your children to have in the future.

Wrapping Up

So to wrap up this post, I hope it inspires you to implement more old-fashioned family time in your life.

Be sure to check out the other posts I’ve written in this series below.

And keep an eye out for the next installment of the series, where I tackle another area of life.

Check out the rest of my A More Old-Fashioned Life Series

How to Live a More Old-Fashioned Life

Planning & Communication

Homemaking

Hobbies

Money Management

Holiday Edition: A More Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving

Holiday Edition: A More Old-Fashioned Christmas