7 Life Lessons From the First Year of Motherhood

This week a memory popped up in my feed; last year at this time, we had just got the okay from the doctor to start feeding our little one solid food for the first time. What a milestone. Thinking back it’s so crazy to think about, it feels like just yesterday. In a post, I had wrote:
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“I can’t believe how fast time is going by. ⁠⠀
So many people said that when having a baby, their baby’s childhood flies by in the blink of an eye – and boy – were they right. ⁠My little one got the okay by the doctor to start solid food… and pretty soon I know this little one will be walking and talking. It is so wonderful and amazing to watch little ones grow and have that deep wonder in their precious eyes. Seeing them start to interact with you, smile and laugh are some of the deepest joys in life. ⁠As a first time mom, who is loving being a mom, it’s tough to recognize that this won’t last forever. Most of all I am grateful the Lord has entrusted me with this little one and I must live in the moment and savor this time of babyhood while I can.”

⁠And it is so true, still. Time does feel like it is going by so fast. In that post, I talked about how he will be walking and talking soon. I wasn’t prepared how soon it would come.

Motherhood is stressful. Every day can seem rushed and chaotic… just getting a “simple” task done can take hours with a little one. Most days, I look up at the clock and I can’t believe it’s already suppertime. Where did the day go? And some days that is really hard. But then I think about how much beauty I have seen. I’ve seen my little one explore life. I’ve been there to guide him and read to him, hold him and love him. And that is so magical; like when I saw him take his first step, when I heard him say his first word or try a new food for the first time.

My only regret is that I’ve let dishes and laundry get in the way sometimes. Of course, these things need to still be done, but one example of what I mean is this one. My husband asked me to take a walk with him and the little one and I was stressed about the dishes and wasn’t going to go. But my husband said, “the dishes can wait. I’ll help you do them after we get the little one to bed. Please, come for a walk with us.” I am so happy that he said that. It was a real reminder that the dishes will still be there, but my son and husband wanting to go for an evening walk with me, are the stuff that memories are made of. Those are the moments of life that matter; quality time with our family.

1. That the time goes by so fast, if you’re not careful, you will blink and the first year will be over.
2. That if a phase is tough for you, just wait it out, because you will get a handle on it. For a short while. Then everything will change again. And then you will get a handle on everything, again. It is a cycle.
3. When you get frustrated, pray, “Lord, give me patience” over and over, as much as you need to until the moment of frustration passes. You can’t take back words you say in haste so choose those words wisely.
4. Babies will fall asleep when you pray the rosary over them. Your soothing voice and melodic rhythm are just what baby wants. Use it as a time of prayer for your family. Offer up the sacrifice of your sleep. And by praying, it will also help you be much less frustrated or frazzled. I once heard those middle of the night times referred to as a “holy hour”. Jesus can meet you right there, so use it to bask in His love. Mama, you are right where He wants you to be in those moments. And also remember, you will sleep through the night again.
5. Don’t let your perfectionism take you away from moments with your family. Realize the difference of when a task is one you really need to do right now (like someone in your family doesn’t have any shirts left to wear) or if it’s just you wanting your home to be “perfect”. Strive for somewhere in the middle.
6. It’s okay to say that motherhood is hard and still be a great mom.
7. Unless there is a medical issue, let your child develop at their own pace and in their own time. Your child’s doctor will tell you what is in an age appropriate range, and will help if there is an issue. Don’t compare your child to anyone else, it will only cause everyone stress. Know your child’s strengths and weaknesses but only so you can parent them well and meet them where they are.

Some say toddlerhood starts when a child is 1, others say 18 months, and yet, others say 2 years old. So I don’t know, but I sense that we are now on that edge.

I’m going into this with a humble mindset. My family has so much to learn, this being our first child. Culture has nicknamed it the “terrible twos” and such, but I don’t see it that way. I know I’m still in the very beginning of this stage, but I partly think it’s our own mindset. If we think it’s going to be “terrible”, it will be. I think it will be an adventure. Everything is new and exciting for the little one, and they are better able to communicate. I am also more confident in my motherhood. Sure, there will be hard days, maybe weeks as molars start coming through and he is teething hard. But I imagine it will be like infancy where the good greatly outweighs the difficultly.